I Wish I Was the Walrus

"You can break 6 of the 10 commandments in America, but please, Thou Shalt not Violate the Brand." - David Brooks, No Sex Magazines Please, We're Wal-Mart Shoppers

Consider a man, we'll call him Bob. We don't need to know anything about Bob except that he has been charged with a crime. Bob spent Monday night in jail. Now it is Tuesday morning and Bob is sitting on a bench in the courthouse, wearing handcuffs and shrouded in the presumption of innocence, awaiting his hearing before a judge.

He will have to wait a little longer. Two teams of sharp-dressed lawyers have swept past him into the courtroom, jumping him in the queue. It so happens that late Sunday a phone company started running ads in prime time television that portray a talking walrus in a negative light. Unfortunately, this talking walrus looks alarmingly similar to the talking walrus another company uses to sell mops. The mop company filed for a preliminary injunction on Monday to protect the integrity of their own fictional talking walrus. To prevent any further harm to the fictional talking walrus, the court has granted the companies an immediate hearing.

Meanwhile Bob waits on the bench, in handcuffs and shrouded in the presumption in innocence. Maybe he attempts to figure out how much harm accrues to his own reputation every hour he remains charged with this crime and whether it is more or less important than the reputation of a fictional talking walrus.